Date rate

No love here y'all!

This past week, I’ve been doing a LOT more socializing with the opposite sex, and I gathered a fair bit of insight on men and myself. So yes, it became an unintended social experiment.

This blog is starting to read like what it used to at the beginning of last year, where I was quite single, and felt inclined to analyze men, love, and relationships.

I try not to date anyone from my industry, which is a small but growing one. Plus this is such a small country… I see it akin to committing social suicide. When a break up occurs, it’ll be a-w-k-w-a-r-d and I’ll have to avoid some conferences. Plus if I keep dating industry folks, it’ll be like I’m doing the rounds. This is scenario planning, if you like.

Perhaps I’m thinking too far in advance. Which reminds me how a Vedic astrologer told me this year that if any man knew what I was thinking, he’d bolt (I might have mentioned this before). Because I think of all sorts of scenarios, will he be a good father, breadwinner, a pillar of support, hold my hair back when I’m puking etc.

I found myself rating these men that I was speaking to this week, even though they weren’t all technically dates. Some scored well with chivalry, post-meeting messages, morning greetings, and some scored badly with post-drinking babble (too much information), excessive messaging (I like phone calls), lousy follow up, being too forward, or too sticky/persistent.

Although I look like a rather liberal woman, I’m still very traditional when it comes to courtship, and I like to take it slow. It creeps me out when men advance quickly. My system literally goes into mild shock. I typically start to question if I really want to be with this person, can I handle a relationship right now, could it really go the distance (range anxiety – a term often associated with the electric car)?! Okay, as usual I’m thinking too much too fast.

So this week showed me how I’d like to be romanced, and I realized how alcohol isn’t the best conversation lubricant. I was contemplating writing a post titled “I liked you better when you were sober” after experiencing this with so many men in the past few months and knowing myself, it would have ended up being very unkind, so I ditched the idea.

During this last week, I also realised that I’m not ready for a relationship and I still love my space and routine too much to let anyone in. We’ll see when the time is right, according to a Vedic astrologer, that will be sometime next year. Looking forward! 😉

Image taken from Ambrozjo


2 thoughts on “Date rate

  1. I have just learnt more about you in one blog post than one ever possibly could in even a lifetime! I must admit I have played the part of every suitor in this post from the chivalrous attentive knight through to the excessive messaging sticky forward drunk! Your cautious approach to dating the industry is exceptionally wise as I can relate to burning more than a few bridges through “doing the rounds” as you so eloquently put it, fortunately this is now going back 7-10 years, trust me Townsville is a much smaller community than Singapore in this respect.

    I certainly am enjoying your insights and forthright honest sharing of your innermost thoughts, now why haven’t I got a blog?

  2. Nige, and with that, I now know that you are the Townsville Casanova! I’m going to do up a flowchart next, documenting which types of behaviour earn brownie points with most Singaporean ladies.

    Go write a blog – not about your exploits I hope! Ha!

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