Okay, this is my blog and I can bash whoever the hell I want, right?
True that! But I won’t… Not all of them!
From all past relationships and brief courtships I’ve had, I found myself learning some important lessons. Some were harder than others, some were just awfully familiar because I never quite got the repetitive mistake corrected. I can be wretchedly stubborn, as my friends know!
I learned a bunch of good lessons of course. For the longest time, I was a very emotionally unexpressive person and highly uncomfortable about telling a partner I loved him (might be a Chinese thing) but learned to do so in the last five years. I also learned to not exercise the use of my ego too much. More recently, I learned how to give my partner space and let him be himself. Also a noteworthy pointer, is to avoid the “too comfortable” phase of being too casually kitted out. It pays to make an effort!
Having embraced spirituality in the last eight months, I learned not to let anger consume me, but instead, aspire towards forgiveness. The thing about me is that I can’t stay angry, but I can remain hurt for a looooooong time.
The harder truths to swallow are certainly the ones of betrayal… whether moral or physical. These ones I’ve been on the receiving end of a lot.
Through and through, the biggest lesson I have been struggling to get right is to love myself. As a subset of loving myself (get your mind out the gutter), is taking on responsibility. Being what my ex-boyfriend terms a “Petra-Pan”, I suppose by default, I attract the Peter Pans too. It is perhaps time to date someone more mature, like my astrologer advised when I consulted him late last year.
He had warned that a “beneficial male” would come into my life in December/January and I may get involved with him romantically. Everything he said came true. Unbelieveable.
This man taught me so many lessons, some painful, but made my days rather colourful. Although I felt so used and tired by the end of it, it was plain obvious. I manifested this man through my refusal to do the self-loving thing, and so it was a car crash waiting to happen. When we love ourselves enough, we would never let someone treat us in a disrespectful manner, and instead demand for the wonderful treatment we all deserve, or walk off.
Never again will I let this happen. Too many heartbreaks in a year!
And so I am going to spend the rest of my life loving myself instead of hating myself for being a stupid woman! God, I hate stupid women!
Photo taken from stock.xchng