After a weekend visit to Penang, I started to mull over the different levels of physical-emotional entanglements that people choose to have outside of relationships.
Sure, it’s common to hear people say they want a no-strings attached arrangement, but what about the expectations bit? Two people could get it slightly off, and it would not be a good sin-sin situation.
So I realised that there are several levels of these entanglements. Excuse my French, but I will be using language that might be regarded as profane. Dad, please forgive!
1. The F##k Buddy (FB) – at the basic level, we have the completely non-emoting, straight up sex arrangement. No dinners, no holding hands, no courtesy calls. The saying “Wham, bam, thank you ma’am” comes to mind.
2. Friends that F##k (FtF) – Also known as friends with benefits, and sounding dangerously close to the FB, this one is a lot different. You do things that friends do, you care for the other party, but you know nothing will come out of it and seriously do not mind. There is not a smidgeon of romantic interest. Period.
3. The Fling (F) – One rung short of being in a relationship, this arrangement includes dinner, movies, gentlemanly acts, passion, and if you’re lucky, a hint of romance. There is romantic interest but is somewhat stuck in second gear… and the gearbox looks nowhere near to being repaired.
I said to Pam recently, “It’ll be nice to have a happy fling”. To which she replied, “There is no such thing! What you’re probably after is a relationship!”
The lady is right. I like the whole having someone there thing, with little expectations and space to do whatever, but that should happen in a relationship anyway. I do like a partner to show concern, but I’ll probably never get the amount I want outside of a relationship or my inner circle of friends.
All of the above options are certainly not for me, simply because I have a fragile heart!
Photo taken from stock.xchng