Spotting Relationship Sign Posts

It’s been ages since I’ve posted anything here. Of late, I’ve been asked if I would revive this blog, and you know what, I’ve been thinking about it! I used to enjoy writing about meaningful airing self-important thoughts about love, in particular, about my own experiences.

Since I found some peace in my love life four years ago, I felt my insecurities melt away, I felt like I could finally be myself with someone else and speak with absolutely no filter. But recently I caught myself letting myself go, not just physically, but emotionally… I let myself slip into a negative state, and was not growing emotionally or spiritually. I felt I could do better with myself.. and the incessant internal chatter returned with enormous vigour, and I was back to becoming overly self aware, I figured that it all has to go somewhere. So here I am again!

Recently I’ve been thinking about relationship sign posts. I think life is like one giant RPG (role playing game) – you meet different people and unlock challenges, tools, skills, and you level up! I was reminded how we meet new people all the time, be it online of offline, and an interaction can trigger a positive emotional shift, suddenly unlocking infinite possibilities if you are open to it.

A little over four years ago, I was (very) single and was consistently attracted to moody, masculine and emotionally unavailable men because I found them dead sexy. But a trip to Beijing changed all that. While I was there visiting a friend, I got to know someone whom I found gentle, happy, sweet and polite, and I thought to myself – I want to date a guy like that! He was my relationship sign post, although not necessarily someone whom I wanted to date, but one who gave me an indication that I could make healthier relationship choices.

After each relationship, I form a strong opinion about what kind of partner I want. Well, I like to fantasize… and those days, I felt that a passionate environmental activist would be a perfect match, we would actively crusade against the evils of the world, and have each other at the end of the day. However, life doesn’t quite work like that. I ended up falling for a sweet, giving, mellow, introverted Australian musician whom I could hermit in a subtropical rainforest with.

He provided me a safe haven from responsibilities and city living, a learning ground to develop self sufficiency skills and soul cultivation, and I also learned a lot about music and culture from him. What a journey. I’m a much better human today for it, and I’ve grown a lot all these years.

Of late though, I’ve been feeling that I haven’t been growing, and yearn for more self development and solo travel. I have FOMO – a fear of missing out, on life in particular. And now that I’ve completed a permaculture design course, there is so much to explore and I would like to work on various farms to hone my understanding of permaculture, something that my partner is not so interested in. In my course, I experienced another relationship sign post. I realised that I want a partner whom I could work tirelessly in the garden with, one who would not see my effort in the garden as a waste of time, or tell me that I should buy my vegetables instead.

Unlike a few years back, I now believe that relationships with friends and partners are cyclical, and while goodbyes are hard, we have to look at the big picture in life. If things are meant to be, it will be.

A day before I left Sydney a few weeks ago, I told my partner that we don’t want the same things and he should find someone better. Somehow the feeling of expressing this came when we were at a quaint cafe in Balmain. In my mind, I completely blocked out all the people in the room and tried to communicate my sadness in as dignified a manner as I could. He said he believed that we do want the same things, and eventually said that I should stay with him next time I visit NSW. Maybe in his heart he knows that our romantic union would be coming to an end.

He is my best friend, and will be in my life forever, but for now I think our relationship is on ice. Maybe all I want is some space, and to just be for a while.

Ultimate Relationship Breakthough Retreat with Brenda Tan & Chuck Mellon


My best friend has organised a retreat for those seeking a breakthrough in personal relationships – with self and others. Brenda and Chuck Mellon will run this session together at Chuck’s private resort in Pattaya. More details below.

This relationship breakthrough retreat is a 2.5 days transformational immersion, spiritual and intimate experience that is about assisting you, whether you are man or woman, in rediscovering love and yourself, and all that is blocking you from having the love life and amazing relationships you truly desire. It will be held in a private resort in Pattaya, Thailand from 11 – 13 Dec 2015.

Do you feel that your relationship isn’t quite what it used to be?

Have you ever wondered why you keep attracting the wrong relationships into your life?

Have you ever felt like you were always “talking to a wall” with your significant other?

Have you ever experienced relationships where either party has commitment issues?

Or, Have you ever felt like no matter what you do, you can’t seem to make your relationships work?


We develop all these old belief systems, parental imprints, emotional wounds, unresolved scars and we learnt to do it so well, that now limits our inner freedom and self-esteem, and you may find yourself recreating and getting into the same unhealthy, emotionally draining or even abusive relationships again.

This retreat is about making you more desirable, attractive person, having inner freedom and self-love. Clearing of your past conditioning, letting go what is unhealthy, transforming yourself. That will profoundly impact every single area of your life, career, money, and not just love life and relationships potentially.

This retreat is limited to 8 people, and the early bird price of $1995 includes a two-way air ticket, accommodation and meals. For more information visit

Join me on the 33-day path

I recently came across Panache Desai‘s work, and his 33-day path. He might seem intense in his manner of speech, but that’s precisely the thing that draws me in and makes his message compelling. I had to buy his book – Discovering Your Soul Signature – this week from Books Kinokuniya (S$36.95) and after subscribing to his 33-day path reminders, I’m a much bigger fan.

Each day, I receive an email about the emotion to focus on and/or release for the day. There is so much truth and conviction in the way he communicates, I think he’s pretty cool.

Join me on this journey, it’s been amazing!

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The year of money mastery

For 6 and 1/2 years now, I have been involved in a lot of non-profit work, and even in my for-profit dealings, I have been charging prices that are more friendly to SMEs that it has been for my own pocket. In other words, I have not been as fiscally responsible to my business and myself as I ought to be.

I decided that 2014 would be my year of money mastery, where I would work on my relationship with money, grow my savings, be comfortable about earning money, and not feel guilty about earning a salary from doing good. How can I help others if I can’t even help myself, and I will be able to do more social good with more money.

I was speaking to my best friend this week about how I would price my upcoming PR seminars, and she said that I could afford to charge higher, and how I shouldn’t assume that people do not have money. She added that I need to focus on the future value that I am giving these participants, and she is right.

As I am in the process of writing some books on environmental conservation, I have been tuning in to Christine Kloser’s Transformational Author Experience 2014. So far, I’ve picked up some useful tips, and to date, the one that I found to have resonated with me most was the session with Lisa Nichols. Not only is she highly inspiring, but she gives wonderful advice that creates positive emotional and mental shifts in people.

This interview  goes on for over an hour, but in particular, I liked the following quotes that she made about money:

“Look at money as an energy exchange, money isn’t the end all and be all. Money is a tool, a team member… a team member that gives you the access to greater tools, greater equipment, to greater platforms. It’s just a tool. You don’t work for money, you work for transformation. Money is simply an energy exchange that allows you to continue producing transformation. I’d like to invite you to have an emotional shift, a money shift, a blueprint shift, a mental shift, so money can help you do what you want to do and more of it .”

“Prosperity and finance and abundance is simply an exchange of your energy that you put out to the world, and it’s simply a vehicle for you to do more good in the world and make more memories – better memories, more delicious memories – in the world.”

She’s so incredible, I love her authenticity, and I love her wisdom.

Because I don’t like sales-y language that seems to be more about earning money for the speaker than about helping others, there are very few personal/transformational coaches that I can identify with. If you like grounded people, I’d definitely recommend that you check out Lisa Nichols.

For people looking into money mastery and abundance, which includes love, health and happiness, I’d like to share a couple of tools that have helped me so far. Just to clarify, I have no business affiliation with the creators of these resources.

Here’sScreen Shot 2014-05-30 at 12.32.15 am a CD that was highly recommended by a friend – Pathways to Abundance with the Archangels. While it may sound strange and bogus, this CD actually helped me a fair bit, and within days, I had work opportunities coming in for me. This also worked for a friend of mine, who secured a year-long contract in the same week after listening to the recordings.

I gave my feedback to the team behind the production of the CD, who had also received positive feedback about the recordings. You can purchase the CD here, or purchase a downloadable version here.

spiritual guide

This book, The Spiritual Guide to Attracting Prosperity by Carolyn Boyes, is also a wonderful read and workbook. I bought my copy from Books KinoKuniya, and I’d recommend you flip through it the next time you are there – if this is a topic that you are keen on. This book talks about the law of attraction of course, and manifestation. Highly recommended!

In addition, I was recently introduced to Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich, if you’re not familiar with it, here’s a video of him talking about it. Check it out!

For more on money mastery, look out for the upcoming replay of interview recordings with Robert Allen and Ryan Eliason in Christine Kloser’s Transformational Author Experience 2014 here. The recordings are only available for 24 hours, so catch it while you can!

Feel free to share any resources that you use, which has made a difference in your life!

Images taken from Overdrive and Love for Crystals

Let’s transition away from economic growth

Here’s an impactful short film that explains how we have arrived at our current crisis in the areas of money, society and environment, and how we need to shift the focus away from economic growth and towards community. The current economic system clearly isn’t working for us.

In it, Charles Eisenstein explains sacred economics and how money systems need to change in order to benefit humanity and bring us together, instead of separating us and creating a barrier to what makes us happy. He also talks about healing, and about a new kind of economy, such as negative-interest currencies, resource-based economics and gift economies. This video offers a taste of the concepts he shares his book, Sacred Economics: Money, Gift, and Society in the Age of Transition.

If you are feeling overwhelmed by life, and/or wondering how you can make a difference, watch this! It is refreshing and uplifting!

Reimagining investment for the whole human

This video by Sustainable Man features a snippet of Tim Jackson’s TED talk on how we need an economic reality check. What I found impactful about his talk is when he  says we need to invest in a more meaningful idea of prosperity, where people are given the means to do well physically, emotionally and psychologically.

He also says:

What we’ve done is we’ve created economies. We’ve created systems, which systematically privilege, encourage, one narrow quadrant of the human soul and left the others unregarded. And in the same token, the solution becomes clear, because this isn’t, therefore, about changing human nature. It isn’t, in fact, about curtailing possibilities. It is about opening up. It is about allowing ourselves the freedom to become fully human, recognizing the depth and the breadth of the human psyche and building institutions to protect Rembrandt’s fragile altruist within.

Do take time out to watch this 7:18 min video, it really is worth the time. Do also check out their other videos when you have time!