Singaporeans from a young age like to say “wah… score points”, when someone is seen as trying to impress others. Of late, my girlfriends and I have been using this term a lot, excluding the “wah” at the beginning, in reference to how nice men can be. And of course, we also talk about acts which do the exact opposite, and yes, some of them commit such dating atrocities that they have lost so many brownie points or in ill-grammer, “minus(ed) points” to the level of being bankrupt, or worse, in the negative.
Some time back, I wrote about dealbreaking acts, and even drafted a flowchart to explain how my mind works and some expectations on my part. These days, the men I encounter are much better, and I have been on the receiving end of more random acts of sweetness, which really warms my heart.
Some time back, there was this one guy who had seen my flowchart, and tried to follow it to a tee, but it was so obvious that it was orchestrated, and on some of our dates, he’d take me to mainly meat joints. Worst of all, he once offered me a mince pie, which I felt was so insensitive because he knew I did not eat meat. Needless to say, his report card was severely in the red.
One of my besties was relating to me how her date helped her peel prawns, which of course deserves a gold medal. Usually, it’s more common to see the opposite. I do think we should peel our own food, be it bananas, boiled eggs, and the like, but when someone does it for you, it’s such a pleasant surprise.
I’m such a sucker for really sweet gestures. Here are some stellar examples of #scorepoints that I’ve encountered this year:
- “Here, I picked this shell on the beach for you. It’s a clam and called … in Japanese, and as it grows, the shell closes up” [side note: I had to put the shell in the garden because when it was in my bedroom, I'd dream of him every night]
- *Hands me an Allamander* “This will suit your skintone”. I then wore it in my hair, and he said “See I told you it would look nice on you”.
- Helping me do recycling (This scores really high in my books!)
- Physically getting off his seat and chasing the restaurant kitchen for my food order, even though I was okay to wait
- Showing genuine interest in an environmental campaign that I’m backing
On the flipside, here are some absolute dealbreakers that I’ve encountered this year:
- Talking about good looking women several times in one sitting
- Telling me that he is relatively unenvironmental
- Showing no real concern when I had hurt myself
Gentlemanly acts sure go a long way, and it shows that one cares enough to extend himself. Attention to detail definitely sits well with me; emotional craftsmanship, if you like! Who doesn’t want to date a nice person, right? I sure as hell do!
Image taken from The Berry